Whose Pube-preference Matters Most?

Pube Preference

Like many women, I have always shaved certain parts of my body because well, that’s what you do. I couldn’t wait until my mom bought me my first razor, one of those “safe” round ones with a dull blade. She let me shave when I was 11 and I couldn’t have been happier. I have no idea why my mom picked that age to let me start shaving. Perhaps she saw it on Oprah or Rikki Lake. To me, shaving was a rite of passage. Wearing bras, getting my period, shaving, and eventually applying makeup were all rites of passage into the alluring world of adulthood, a land where I could stay up as late as I want and eat dessert before dinner.

I don’t necessarily think there is anything wrong with shaving being a rite of passage into adulthood. Every culture has their own rites. What’s wrong is when women think they HAVE to shave for fear of being ridiculed by others or condemned by their partners.

Pubic hair wasn’t something I really thought about until a few years later when it was bathing suit season. I started shaving my bikini line so I didn’t offend/entice anyone with my stray pubes. When I became sexually active, however, I thought a lot more about my hair down there and even started shaving more because I thought that's what you were supposed to do. Who knows where I got that idea from? Perhaps I read an article in Cosmo or watched one too many episodes of Howard Stern's late night show on cable.

That being said, I’ve never been ashamed of my body hair, particularly “down there”. The way I see it, any guy I’ve ever slept with should feel lucky and grateful to have even gotten my pants off in the first place. If I ever had a partner that made me feel lesser than because of my unkempt bush, I’d likely tell him where to go. But that didn’t stop partners from expressing their preferences, however.

A few years ago I was having a sexy “which do you prefer” sexting session with my lover, I typed, “shaven or unshaven?”— he quickly replied, “shaven”. That settled it. Every time we met up for a sexy romp thereafter, I made sure to take his preference into account. Like massaging lotion into my skin or spritzing my neck with perfume, I began relishing this pre-sex primping. 

But just like every other character trait in the book, I began to discover that men’s pubic hair preference was simply that.. a preference (a preference that was likely a factor of age, culture, and porn consumption). I asked a male friend (who was in his mid-30s) what his pube-preference was and he said he liked his lovers to have some pubic hair since “they are women (and not girls)." Another lover confessed that I was the first woman he'd been with that had had a Brazilian. "Really?" I asked playfully, "so which do you like better, hair or no hair?" "Neither is better, I like everything" Well, that clears it up. Not. 

I was so concerned with my partners' pube-preference, but I never really stopped to take my own into account. Wasn't my own preference the one that mattered most? 

Once, I went through a period of time when I wasn't shaving at all down there, just trimming it up now and then, and I must say, I felt sexier and more powerful with a wild bush. Not to mention there was less friction and no gross ingrown hairs to deal with. My scent was more pungent, but that wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, I kind of liked it. It was me. 

Now that I have a serious partner (who also happens to have a pube-preference), I don’t really give the topic too much thought. Occasionally, I still partake in my pre-sex primping ritual, but I don’t fret if I have a five o’clock (or five week) shadow. If I could pick an ideal scenario, however, my partner would worship my unkempt bush and relish in the mere sight of it at any given time. In order for that to happen, however, I’d have to start worshipping my own first (and I’m not sure I’m ready to do that just yet.) Or am I? 

Photo by Lyndsey Marie on Unsplash

Like this story? Thank Nicole. 

Screen Shot 2017-05-23 at 21.18.36.png

Nicole Paulus is a Berlin based bozo from the States. When she’s not running her own digital marketing company Nico New Media, she's drowning her der, das, die sorrows with some dark, fair trade chocolate. You can read about her adventures on her blog.